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Redbodies series

Piece no.1

The image on the left and diptych on the right are both just different compositions of the same event.

I am thinking of either including an artist's statement with the images;

This piece was presented in crit. I had my classmates gather around me, and while I changed from passable everyday wear into this suit, I explained to them why one would make the decision to color-code themselves as Red. Paraphrased and abridged; "I have been stuck this year reeling from what happened to me over Quarantine, and the Red has been a reaction to a disintegration of the Self. What it feels like to dissolve, of being nothing more than observing window light pass on white bedroom walls." While dressing I was asked "What do you mean by dissolved?". I did not know how to answer apart from, "I mean by 'dissolving', what the experience of dissolving is". I find it strange how that is hard to understand.

Or re-performing the piece as a video;

Someone brought up to me in the crit "Why didn’t you record it?" I hadn't planned for the speaking to be a part of it, I just got there and realized that I should probably give context to the art-object. But it was, my voice was audibly shaking, and there was a point where the cloth wouldn't zip up over the shoes and it was tearing, and I got stuck there trying to fill the silence because it was taking so long to work. The plan originally was for the piece to be simply [ me wearing the suit ], and it's something on the difference between artist & art-object, performance & self.

Fun fact, we had a field trip to a museum and I wanted to wear my nice clothes to be formal for it, so I show up completely Bright Red and people took photos of me (was not my intent), so I was technically in the Whitney Biennial.

I was thinking that I could try and recreate the performance part of this, with a spoken explanation somehow. To do that, I would either have to make myself nervous again by getting in front of a new group, or I would have to speak on remembering the first performance. Not sure if it can be recreated.

Also; that artist's statement is ~ a first draft. I'd re-edit it if it's in the portfolio.

Also; I could leave it as just the photo, no inclusion of video or explanation.

Also; I like that the photo quality is shitty.

Piece no.2

V.1

V.2

V.3a

V.3b

These four pictures are different arrangements & compositions of mostly the same objects.

The left-most, V.1, I have photos of that setup documented from every angle. It doesn't quite fit with the others.

The middle two ( V.2 and V.3a ) I think kind of fit together as a diptych.

The right-most, V.3b is only another cropping of V.3a. I like V.3b because it's hinting at the outside other world. If I was going to present either V.3a or V.3b on its own, I would choose V.3b over V.3a. But, if I was going to make a diptych with V.2, I would choose V.3a over V.3b.

Not sure if I like the V.2 and V.3a diptych the most; it has potential to have a story there, but the two of them together brings in too many elements and that story falls apart. I believe from these four, I would choose to present a single photo, either V.2 or V.3b.

Edit: I've been looking at these pieces since I made them a few weeks ago, and like, man I'm not sure if I like them that much. I still have those same objects (minus sewing machine) lying around to make another arrangement.

Piece no.3

Tending to Kudzu

Frankly, just threw this together to document for the portfolio that I collect red fabric and clothes whenever I get the chance.

Items on the clothesline are my clothes and larger pieces of scrap (I sew some of my own clothes).

Kudzu is an invasive species of vine, you've probably seen it around Pittsburgh.

Lightbox Bedrooms

Piece no.4

I'm just grabbing this file from my Youtube, this piece is only the first 59 seconds of that video. The second half is b-roll documentation of the creation process. I would trim this to the first 59 seconds to submit it in a portfolio.

Wall behind me is covered in gessoed canvas, I'm wearing a suit that's sewn from the same canvas. Filmed in my bedroom, December 2021.

I presented this in class, and the teacher was really supportive of it. From him;

I would like to recreate this piece, and do a better version. I would remove the camera, I would keep the single eyehole in the face, and I would sit for a full 24 hours instead of just during sunset time. Ideally, it would be played back and watched in real time. It is only fast-forwarded because I am allowing the audience to cheat (I had to present this in class).

He compared it to Douglas Gordon's 24 Hour Psycho. If I redid a 24 hour version of this piece, I would not mind titling it 24 Hour Psychotic.

Piece no.5

However, this was probably in my original college applications. I would not like to include it again for that reason.

The reason it is included here is because both it and the previous video piece are about my time over quarantine. Just this sculpture is made during it, the video made after it, in reflection, a year later. They are a set, therefore.

This is the pre-Red mentioned in Piece no.1

This is one from December 2020. Bristol paper and hot glue. ~ 16 x 8.5 x 7 inches deep.

These are still the original documentation photos of from when it was first made. Could see about taking new photos, and changing something about it via new documentation.

Piece no.6

The Shelves

Photos of The Shelves right as they are completed, and I haven't moved any supplies in yet.

Contexts:

I started building the Shelves first thing home from college, (constructed from mid May - mid June).

All building materials (minus nails) and storage vessels are either found being thrown out, or bought from salvage/second hand.

No part of it is nailed into or otherwise affixed to the walls or floor of the room because we don't own this house, and it this has to be disassembled one day.

This is the same room as in the Lightbox Bedroom projects, (also where Sleep Charts and Redbodies are shot).

The reason I built the Shelves is because since Quarantine, I can't stand to have a bed, I can't stand having that window to look out of or the light getting in, and I can't stand the clutter anymore because it just looks like the corpse and I feel it immediately. So the Shelves solve those problems (I have a blanket stapled over the window), and the rest of the room is either used as a studio or is cleaned to pure Empty. Anything taken out of the shelves has a place back in them, and all the furniture is ideally folding. I hope you can understand the amount that it is possible to physically feel how heavy deadly clutter can be. This thing is about safety and survival.

Future Continuation of the Project:

I'm currently considering extending the front length to the room's full 11'2" to add a second enclave. There's a closet in the room that I've been using for extra bulk storage, but that feels like cheating. I've also had issues dragging a mattress around all the time when I need it out of the way, so I'll put an actual bedspace in the new Shelves. I think if I added that extension, I could have actually everything I own and ever use stored in these.

The other thing considered about this room is that the walls and ceiling are white without accent. It bugs me that there is a ceiling fan, and that the floor is brown. I would enjoy to find a way to make the floor white too. I've thought about stretching some sturdy fabric like canvas across it; whatever would achieve the same effect as the walls but still let it be practical as a floor. I would feel much better to have/to be in a non-space.

If I implemented both of those, the entire room would more fully be just a sculpture that I live in. I really like that idea, and the shelves only took a month to build, and the opposite wall is still canvassed from winter break. It goes very nicely with the Red chromophiliac.

Shelf Dimensions

190cm 6'3" (front)

140cm 4'7" (sides)

250cm 8'2" (height)

Corresponding room dimensions

340cm 11'2"

425cm 13'11"

255cm 8'4"

Photo of the construction.

Interior shots, as of current day.

//note to self reshoot these so rotation numbers match.

Cooper Union Projects

Piece no.7

Sleep charts

The above four images are from the Cooper Hometest, the prompt was "Self portrait as a pattern".

The image on the far-right is a document format that I use to track my sleep schedule. Each row represents the 24 hours in a day. The left-most column is midnight to 1am, the right-most column is 11pm to midnight. White boxes are hours I am awake, black boxes are hours I am asleep.

The pattern from the tracking document is cut into a window curtain.

Continuation of the Project:

I still use the same document format to track my sleep.

Left one begins 9/20/2020 & ends sometime still over quarantine.

Middle begins 8/30/2021 (on the first school day) & ends on the last school day.

Right begins 8/6/2022 (on the first day of my job) & ends current day.

I tried to make another project out of these over the school year, but I think it fell apart.

Not sure what another art piece with these/the data would be at the moment, but I plan to continue collecting them.

I've sometimes needed them to make sure I've slept recently, sleep tracking is a diagnostic tool for N24, currently tracking meds and job schedule on it too, and they help me organize memory a bit. I could point out dates for specific events and states of mind from them.

Scroll down the aforementioned project I don't like:

(Some bits of it could perhaps be salvaged)

Visualizations from distorting the data:

(Original clip was played in the last seconds of the video.)

I've only included this because I'd maybe like to keep working/rework with the data organization + visualization.

"Sleep is a violent act" is an interesting phrase to work with, but it's not always violent. There's the bits like when over Quarantine, when the time all stopping and slipping shows up via the sleep pattern. That's the data visualization for... because the body rhythm isn't in sync with the 24 hour day, there are no more "days" happening, so time just stops happening. A corpse isn't inherently violent. Although during the school year though with classes and all the buzzing, having to sleep was sometimes just akin to a sledgehammer in the face. Absolutely horrid to schedule things. The most recent one is actually fairly healthy!

Again- I've included this section and those details because I still want to see if there's a way to work with this.

Piece no.8

Grids

1/9

This is from a class project towards the beginning of the year, where the prompt was to spend three weeks on "Grids".

Showing this slideshow here (made the same time I made this work) because I found it already arranged in a PowerPoint on my computer.

The slideshow format and the writing in it isn't even going to be Touching the portfolio.

Also I haven't reread what that says.

Presentation in class.

Dug this painting (right) out of my basement the other night. 30 x 30 in, acrylic on paper.

I was looking at it, I think the aesthetics get in the way of the concept, and I would like to see a third piece of this composition, where it is only a tracing of the grid lines (as mentioned in slides 6 and 7.)

Also, action of climbing between string and paper is minorly arbitrary. That didn't represent something when I made it.

Why not a 3D grid? Ex. cube / rectangular prism crossbeams to attach string grid to. Another action to perform: Ex. falling through it, leaving the strings as are, and the aftermath of the performed grid (not a painting of it) is the art object. (< I'd like to make this piece, actually).

Other spaces (non square/cuboidal) to grid. Other motions to document via.

thread instead of string?

To present "Grids" in a portfolio, I would probably submit the video stills on slide 6 and the painting on slide 7, probably as two separate pieces.

Piece no.9

The Word "Vermillion" Repeated 314 Times.

Prompt was roughly "Four methods of documenting time". Feb 2022.

Rules were each time I placed a red square, I took a photo of my eyes, and then placed the next square. And so on.

The teacher said knowing that the process was [ place a square, take a photo of eyes] vs. [ take all the photos of eyes one after another ] changed the way he saw the project.

It was either all in one go, or part way through I slept with the makeup on and woke right back up to doing it in the morning.

The colored pieces of paper are from the ColorAid sets we had to buy for school (the people I presented this to would recognize them). The title uses "Vermillion" because that was the name of the paint sample I cut the red squares from.

Like if I remember right I checked out multiple paint stores, took samples of all the red swatches, then then raided one blind of Vermillion, and I'm assuming I would've been dressed in a decent amount of red- at least the hair and the phone- too while doing it. Honestly that is not bad as performance art, he is getting what he wants (the red). Like, they just don't stop you.

What the physical final grid looked like.

(Video plays them from upper left)

Piece no.10

The Notes

This is what I have as non-physical documentation of this piece.

This is going to be easily 100,000 pixels wide, I'm piecing together about 190 separate photos so you can zoom in close enough to read the handwriting starkly.

It would be easier if I had a very large scanner or very high quality camera, but I don't.

I know this site hosts images low-quality, I'll eventually find a way to share the full-quality version if I feel comfortable with that.

March 2022 - May 2022, ~ 15.5 x 7.5 ft in dimension.

This is the portion I have currently completed (~half) :

Documentation in Cooper studio.

Zooms to show resolution.

Anyways this was the bit where the school year completely derailed itself. At least there is an art object.

Fair amount of what's below is entirely a ramble, so, TLDR; Intensive method of taking Notes, Living piece.

Description of the piece, it's content, motives, and plot:

1) Reframed as conceptual art:

You can walk back the art object to it's relation to the space it is in.

You can walk back the space to how a person will use their thinking to perceive that space.

To walk back how thinking works, you have to think about it, and that's either impossible, an endless loop, or a booby trap.

2) Methodology:

So I started this piece (March 5th) as a test to see if I preferred drafting for projects on a single 2D plane, rather than on pages in a sketchbook.

3) The issue that was encountered

I kinda like the thing with tracking. The same thing from Sleep Charts. The game here is that "Tracking" was the coping mechanism for "Control" (ex. loss of control, probably). So, as it goes; something in the thought process can't be trusted, something feels confused about something probably, and then so I'd go and write it down so it couldn't get away from me. The memory's bad enough or not trusted to function well enough, that there's bits in here that are me writing as people are speaking directly to me, and then immediately having to refer to the note to be able to hold track of the conversation. This has a bit in it where I've made a chart to write down exactly what I'm doing and thinking minute by minute. Again- supposedly a crutch / methodology for memory, time management, and project drafting, but I'm sure it repeats itself all over the place, and doesn't quite get anywhere, and makes up new wordgrammar just to be a little more difficult. So it in fact doesn't really help, but, valiant effort.

The bit that goes really wrong with it, is that, apparently, if it supposedly is a documentation of every thought I'd been having (at least every thought I was going to be capable of remembering), then it is a 1:1 equivalent to the brain and the self. And apparently it is not very safe if those are physical objects that can be misplaced, and two weeks after I started the Notes, I misplaced them and couldn't find them with me in New York. Luckily, that didn't go too bad- stuck it out for about ten more days, then went back to Pittsburgh and turned out I had just left the Notes rolled up in my bedroom. After that I was just unable to complete class work, but kept working on adding to the Notes, and called them 'officially finished' May 2nd, two months later, because the school year was ending.

4) Materiality

I've always had a bit of an issue with just grabbing whatever supply I have at hand and working with it, regardless of if it's a suitable quality. That was one of the good things about the Notes- it's pages directly cut from a sketchbook, scans from low-quality printers, flimsy paper, all of that. Randomly alternates between pen and pencil and computer font. It's all held together by tape- same thing- duct tape, scotch tape, masking tape. With the tape, though, there was some methodology, and this piece, in materiality, is also just a bit of a love letter to tape. I had a little technique for applying it called "tape stitching" because it looked like a standard sewing stitch. It was very much piecing the brain back together very carefully with tape. The back side of the piece is without writing, and only shows how it's constructed.

This thing also had a lifespan. It was originally maybe 4x2 ft. It ended up about 15.5x7.5 ft. When it was smaller, I could easily just roll it up and carry it around with me. After a certain point, it became stationary in my dorm, and furniture had to be moved out of the way. It was meant to be a bit of a living piece. I took it on the Greyhounds with me, and it's gotten creased where it's met the floor and ceiling. The final thing done to it in the school year was one big cut straight through the middle to split it in half so it could fit into the car.

Ended up presenting it in class at one point because I just needed anything I could get a grade for, and, well like, yes. Of course not everything was communicated, but again, that'd been happening for about the whole year so it wasn't disappointing, and I was fine to have some privacy and let it be surface level.

Anyways, it is my thought that it would be interesting to try a part two that's digital rather than analogue. I still do a lot of my drafting via writing rather than sketches, and I've switched over to my laptop more than my sketchbook.

Justifications for putting this in a portfolio- well a fair decent guilt-trip explanation as to why the grades are bad, anything about intimacy or privacy (ex. diaries), and like, there's a plot to it, that's included in the writing, events picked up in it are occasionally dated. Also the scale of it, that documentary photograph you can see it covering the door.

// It kind of explains itself without needing a statement if you can read it all.

Fullbody Characters

Piece no.11

The part where I have Imaginary Friends!

Misery

Constructed Jan-Feb 2021

The Arsonist

Constructed Sept 2021

Fangknife

Constructed April & June 2022

Vincent Wolfe

Turned Red Dec 2021

Misery is a drag persona. She's said she's the victim of a car crash, but her headwound looks suspiciously suicidal if you ask me.

The Arsonist got made because they just kept talking about Bauhaus right when college turned the brain back on.

You could try to ask him his backstory, but he only communicates in shapes, colors, and hand frantic gestures.

Fangknife is just evil. He's a horrid little creature, with a terrible understanding of things. He tried to name a shade of Red after himself because he likes it so much. Do NOT stick your fingers through the bars.

Vincent Wolfe was unfortunately unable to make it to this meeting, so Vincent Wolfe will be filling in his place.

//need images.

//Like there WILL be photos here, the same format set as the other three, I just haven't taken them yet.

Misc related works:

Themes to use to frame this body of work in a portfolio:

1) Self Portraits

I included dates. They're all self-portraits made along the same timeline.

To show that in a portfolio:

I would include the three ones with masks, and not myself.

I'd like to show them as being an autobiographical series, rather than as three separate works. I'd give them each the same style and amount of documentation. (Misery is the only one right now with photos of her that are not just showcasing the physical costume. I would get similar photos of the other two.)

2) Maladaptive Daydreaming

Maladaptive Daydreaming is when typical, healthy daydreaming is exacerbated to a point where the time spent doing it consumes a severe portion of the person's life, and effects their ability to function. It has the same quality as daydreaming, where you can live out any fantasies, emotions, etc. With Maladaptive Daydreaming, the connection to the Daydream is severe enough, that you can become fully emotionally disconnected from any of the world outside your head. People in the Daydream can fully take the place of having any relationships with real people. Emotions felt in the Daydream- towards people and events in it- are felt 100% fully.

The three of them are 'different people', but all have to be acted(worn) by myself. And the idealized/fantasized (like I just Really want sharp teeth I think about it so much) version of myself. If it's shown that I interact with them, then this piece can mirror the same dynamic as in Maladaptive Daydreaming.

3) Self

Included myself with them as a character/ a costume. I don't need to justify that to myself, I have to live with him.

Not sure if I have to explain that someone viewing this, though.

4) Other suit

Also; the suit I'm wearing in the 24 Hour Psychotic/ Lightbox Bedroom piece; I've considered using him as a character in this series too.

In terms of timeline, he would represent the same period as Misery (over quarantine. It's just he's made in hindsight).

In terms of Maladaptive Daydreaming, (I don't know if I've brought it up above anywhere,) but that's the main thing I'd do the entire time I was awake for the entirety of quarantine. Misery is more a representation of a character in the Daydream, or an emotion I would've acted out in it- the white canvas suit is more a representation of what the world outside the Daydream was.

Misc portfolio runoff

Piece no.12

Animation Reel

**Ripped this reel from my Youtube, the music's not mine and it was edited for the internet, not a portfolio.

Thinking of including an animation reel in place of a sketchbook tour.

The Notes piece from before is a better representation of my sketching/drafting process than my actual sketchbook.

Also:

Someone made a comment to me that I should include a piece to show I could do a realistic still life or portrait or something technical. There are some figure studies and self portraits in the animation reel, so that sort of covers it. I don't know if I've done a 2D still life since Quarantine. I am not particularly interested in doing that but I have the ability to make one that's at least passable. My favorite part of still lives was arranging them, my initial thought would be to do one of all my Reds.

First College Portfolio

Portfolio submission for CMU

(& RISD's would've had roughly the same pieces)

Portfolio submission for Cooper Union

All submitted in late 2020, early 2021, applying for the 2021 college semester. Accepted to all three of the schools.

Wouldn't want to reuse any as their own piece in this year's application except for maybe the Sleep Chart piece from the Cooper Hometest.

Some final notes (to self), feedback I've gotten on this:

- Photos, need to double check the warmth/saturation/levels before a submission.

- Figure out what actual artist's statements for inclusion in a portfolio would be.

I would probably just, severely edit down some of what's here when a piece needed a statement.

- This is presented here in a web-design format. The turn-around slideshow elements (The Shelves, Fullbody Characters), I am not sure how to directly translate that to the portfolio submission format. I would not do spinning gifs, I ideally wouldn't want the images lined up next to each other in a row, the turn-around slideshow is my preferred presentation. I could figure out basic coding to recreate that Wix element. According to portfolio guidelines, they would want an interactive element or complex sculpture to be documented via video or screen recording.

- Here's the link to the CMU Portfolio Guidelines.

- The portfolio submission includes a place to share your "online presence".

I kind of want to rebuild this site on my own, outside of college portfolio review context, I think using GitHub. I don't have a 'portfolio' or website for my art minus Instagram, and by god I Hate not having everything fully customizable. I have a very mediocre use of HTML and CSS, and then I've barely touched Python and C# in Unity. I couldn't use this site- or a rebuilt version of it- as a portfolio piece, but I'd just like it for myself. I found the actual Sleep Chart website (link).